Did you know out of 100 women 4 are Single
Mothers?
Terbaca statistik mengenai ibu tunggal,
tersedar bahawa saya adalah antara angka tersebut.
Tidak pernah dalam hidup saya semasa muda
dan selepas kahwin bahawa suatu hari nanti, saya akan termasuk dalam kategori
tersebut melainkan bercerai mati. Bagi
saya, ajal sahaja yang akan memisahkan kami berdua. Waktu itu, saya rasakan saya tidak akan dapat
hidup tanpanya. Dan biarlah saya mati
dulu sebelumnya.
Namun waktu dan keadaan, mengubah
segalanya. Di tengah kebahagiaan, tetiba
umpama bom atom meletus, mengakibatkan segala-galanya tinggal impian. Memaksa saya dalam keadaan tidak rela untuk
memikul beban membesarkan anak-anak sendirian.
Selama berbulan-bulan saya menangis dalam
hati, namun memberanikan diri untuk teruskan hidup ini. Saya tidak boleh gagal dalam perjuangan
ini. Saya perlu tabah untuk menghadapi
segala dugaan yang mendatang. Selepas
hampir 10 tahun, saya bangga kerana saya berjaya mengatasinya. Meskipun kekadang terasa sunyi, saya dambakan
hidup saya dalam menentukan keperluan anak-anak dijaga, sentiasa berada dengan
mereka di waktu mereka membesar.
Kekuatan saya sebenarnya datang dari mereka. Sokongan padu dari ibu saya juga merupakan
pengerak nadi hidup saya. Ada juga teman
bertanya mengapa tidak mencari pengganti?
Bagi saya, cinta saya bersemadi bersama kenangan lalu. Saya tidak akan mencari cinta, kalau ada
jodoh biarlah jodoh itu datang sendiri.
Tidak sanggup dalam usia begini, melalui kelukaan dan dikhianati sekali
lagi.
Untuk ibu tunggal diluar sana, samada anda
tergolong dalamnya melalui pilihan ataupun ajal maut,
Saya tabik pada anda ! Siapa kata kaum
wanita lemah? Sebenarnya kaum Hawa
berani menghadapi pelbagai rintangan.
Sebab itulah syurga di bawah kaki ibu.
Bergenang airmata membaca esei anak perempuan
saya yang ditulisnya untuk memohon Biasiswa dari sebuah universiti swasta
terkenal. Janjinya pada saya, sekiranya
dia berjaya mendapat biasiswa tersebut, akan ditulisnya dalam blog. Kesian mengenangkan dirinya yang ketandusan
kasih sayang seorang ayah. Saya tabik
atas kecekalan kerana dia tidak menjadikan peristiwa malang dalam hidupnya
untuk tidak berjaya. Saya sentiasa
berada bersamanya untuk memimpinnya dari kecil.
Abang-abangnya pula mencurahkan kasih sayang dan kemanjaan padanya. Semoga perjalanan hidupnya kelak akan teratur dan berjaya. Amin
"The most challenging moments in
my life is when my parents had a divorce. It happened years ago, 2003, to be
exact, but I still remember it as though it happened yesterday. It had a huge
impact in my life, and it changed my whole family and I.
It all started when my father cheated
on my mum. I'll spare you the details, but after everything was revealed my mum
felt so betrayed she could no longer be with him, so she asked for a divorce.
And I had to choose. Actually, it wasn't my say. My father took off, marrying
someone he barely knew, and left the life that he was familiar with. At that
time, we were staying in Kuala Lumpur, but since my extended family is in
Penang, and we needed their support, we moved back there.
During the first few years, my mum
took the divorce very badly. She had always relied on my dad for emotional
support, and when he left, inevitably, a part of her died. I admired her for
being able to move on, to face life the way she is facing it right now.
Sometimes, people wonder how I could
cope with this huge tear in my life, how I am affected, how disrupted I was by
the divorce. I wonder about that too. You may think I was too young to
understand what was happening, but trust me, I felt the gap in my life. In just
a span of a few months, I lost a big part of my life, my family lost it's
financial support, and our lives took a turn for the worst. No one would not be
unglued when something like this happens.
It affected me in so many ways. I had
to learn how to live without a father, and I had to start over in a new school,
new environment. It was like being reborn into a foreign land. I had to grow
up, to be mature, and to try to not make things harder for my mum. I hated it
when other people treated me in a different way 'just 'cause'.
I am glad to say I didn't turn out to be the way those stereotyped
'broken-home' children did. What my father did made me stronger in so many
ways. I learnt the way of life, how not everyone is to be trusted, how betrayal
is its common denominator. I learnt to be independent, to not rely on someone
emotionally, to have a career and strive in my life. I learnt to be selfish, in
a good way, by thinking of yourself first, making sure you're happy before
trying to make everyone else around you happy. My soul was strengthened, and I
learnt to be brave every single time it has faltered."
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Nasihat saya pada anda yang menjadi ibu tunggal, tumpu perhatian kepada anak-anak anda. Jadikan contoh terbaik untuk mereka.
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